Valence TOC
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Crossing in between tables and dodging chairs, I make my way through the big room. My skirt bumps into the backs of the chairs and drags along the sides of the immaculate tablecloths, threatening to displace the vases atop them.
Although I have avoided looking at the others present in the room, I can tell they have stopped what they are doing and are watching me. My eyes skim over the tops of heads and past blurry faces, in search of a door I can propel myself toward. It occurs to me that the room might have been created without a door.
"Very funny."
Buzz, buzz.
I clamp my eyes shut, letting my mental energy converge in the center of my forehead. Then I shove it off the cliff in my mind's eye and jump with it.
Wind rushes past me for an instant. I open my eyes to find myself in a long gray hallway with dull blue carpet, a smaller, longer version of the room I was just in.
There are no doors in this hallway, and when I turn to look behind me, I am greeted with yet more endless hallway and sad carpet.
"Ha!" The sarcastic laugh escapes my mouth with a loud punch and bounces off the walls, echoing for longer than it should.
Buzz, buzz.
The crackle of electrical friction interrupts me.
"Try again, Farina," the muffled command is calm, but I know she's getting frustrated.
A shockwave of emotion sends a jolt of pain through my body as I think about the bright, sterile room the voice is coming from.
"Try again!" I say out loud to the empty hallway. "Fine."
I dig my fingernails into my palms as I shut my eyes, collect my energy, and push - a little too hard.
This time as I dive off the cliff, I feel the wind rush faster. It forms into a solid, razor-sharp beam that slices down the middle of my head. Like a faucet of water being opened, my determination escapes from the divide and forms into a visualization. I plummet toward that image, passing through, and stumbling on the other side.
Steadying myself, I note a slight ache behind my eyes as I take in my new surroundings.
Before me stretches a quaint downtown scene bathed in the warm afternoon light of a fading sun. Small buildings with brick facades and awnings line both sides of the two-lane street. Random trees and flowers appear here and there, between black lampposts.
I'm standing in the middle of the sidewalk, still wearing the dress. I give the idea of the dress a small mental jab, but it's secured in place.
"Why won't he let the dress go?" I wonder to myself.
Static, then the voice seeps into my brain, "Okay, Val. You need to stay under the radar. You're changing too many pathways. He's going to notice and shut it down again."
"I'm going to do this my way," I snap at the invisible speaker. I note the casual use of my name, a pathetic tactic to instill a sense of camaraderie between us.
An older man in a fedora and tan blazer materializes in front me and leans forward.
"Pardon, miss?" His voice is kind and alluring. I look away quickly and move to go around him.
The man matches my step to the side and blocks my way. I step to the other side, keeping my eyes lowered, and he matches me again. We both pause, and the feeling of being watched by many eyes at once sweeps over me. He takes one slow step forward, followed by another. I can hear the creak of his leather loafers and the click of his heels on the pavement as he comes so close to me that his shoes brush the edge of my skirt.
"Ah, shit," I say. "Too late."
Buzz, buzz.
"Shut up."
With a renewed sense of stubborn persistence, I grab my skirt, turn around and run away from the man. His fingertips graze my exposed back as he tries to grab me.
Over the sound of my white slippers slapping the sidewalk, I can hear him calling out to me in a playful tone, "Valerie. Vaaaaaalerieeeee."
I do not look back.
Lost. Confused. Intrigued. Diving off the cliff again.
This piece lingers. And I felt every beat of it.